72 hours and not a peep. I realize I don't even know where they have taken him or when I will hear from him. I don't know what I expected. Did I think they were going to check him in and then hand him the phone and say, "Mr. ___please be our guest and call your family so they know everything is OK and that it is not at all like what they have seen on TV shows and when you are finished dinner will be served?" In truth, I had some expectation that he would be allowed to call and offer reassurances that day. Realistically though, I thought Day 2 would be more likely. By the end of Day 3 my anxiety levels were starting to soar. By the end of Day 3 I had surfed the net enough to discover some truly scary things about where he was and who his new room mates were. By the end of Day 3, I was questioning a system that would have such little consideration for the families of those incarcerated. Why were we also being punished? Was this increased worry necessary? Did it serve some useful purpose to his 6 children? Was I just missing the point altogether? Was this really how this worked???
He had surrender at one facility and then at one point was be sent somewhere else to serve the time. But, at what point? And where? This goes back to those assumptions. I assumed that when someone received a sentence they would be also told where they would be placed for the duration. It only seemed to make sense. Why put one more burden on a family who is already stressed from the loss of a loved one and often the loss of their contribution to the household income as well. It didn't seem like this could be right.
I start to Google around looking for info. There is very little. The prison sites themselves provide info such as statistics on the makeup of their populations. For instance, how many had committed violent crimes, pulled robberies etc. How old the inmates were and their ethnicity could also be found. While I am sure this is important information - it does not tell you where your loved one is, how they are or if they are still alive. There is extensive info on the procedures to follow to visit a loved one. Lots of rules on what to wear (or not wear), who can purchase food from the snack machines and lots of stuff on how to lose the right to visit. But, this is not that pertinent considering we don't even know where he is.
I start to snoop around prison blogs, prison help formats. There is not as much as you think out there considering somewhere in the vicinity of 2 million Americans are living in prison (now that is new info for me to digest...) I wonder do they scrub these sites? Are they somehow removed from the internet? Is what I am writing going to be removed? Will I get in trouble for just asking questions? I can't help but notice that most of what promises the real scoop on prison life is not free and available in book format - generally written by an ex-convict. Kuddos to them for figuring out a way to take a gain on their stay -
So an interminably endless Day 3 comes to a close - in silence.
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